LIGHTBULB!!!

Yesterday marked the first day of Lent, a period of time that lets Christians reflect and ask for forgiveness. Lent reflects the remembering of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, who withdrew into the wilderness and fasted for 40 days before his crucifixion. During the time of Lent, people usually give up things that are unhealthy or quit bad habits and fast from it until Easter.

Every year I go along with the usual “I’ll give up chocolate, sweets, etc. ” There is nothing wrong with that and honestly if I didn’t have this kind of reflection I would still be giving up a materialistic thing. Recently though my relationship with my faith has been shaky. Not in the way of questioning it or not believing, just in a way that I haven’t been the strongest with it that I can be.

College takes a toll on you. You become so involved with work, new friends, new horizons, that you kind of forget about yourself for a while. Yes I would go to mass on Sunday. Yes I would pray for myself. But it seemed like I was literally going through the motions and not getting anything out of it which I think is the struggle most people my age have. It took a trip out to Cali to talk with my aunt, several talks form mom, and several talks with my other aunt to realize what it was I was missing.

My struggle was that I was trying SO hard to make my own plan and force things to happen in my life. I use to look at missed opportunities and bad things as a punishment. I used to CONSTANTLY beat myself up because of it. But what I heard from my aunt was that God has a plan and I know that is something you hear every day. But it is SO true.

Let God’s will be your own.

I live by this every day. An event passed and it slipped you mind? That’s Him saying, “I have a better place where you prove more beneficial and stronger”. You can’t chew everything you put on your plate and it’s impacting your attitude? That’s Him saying, “Take it easy-let yourself breathe and only do a little here and there until you can manage time and balance.” When you think of all those things that give you stress and anxiety, let go and let God. Don’t forget that He will not let you falter or fail. There is always a plan.

I know for a fact that I haven’t been the best Christian. I have made mistakes. I have chosen the things that I shouldn’t have. But I also know that I am forgiven and that I will always have a place of sanctuary with God.

So coming back to the entire Lent ordeal- for Lent I have decided to surround myself with positivity instead of “giving up” on anything. By being positive and learning not to down myself or think that I am not worth it I can really be happy. And I mean an undying and beautiful kind of happiness. With that things come easier. And the best part is-not only does it help you, your attitude will impact others around you and help them.

Every day is a fresh start.

xoxo

So it Begins

Shake the World

It has come to my attention that the more that school continues to trudge on and take every ounce of happiness a person has there is a reoccurring element that is in all of us. This element has different names: anxiety. stress. negativity. You know what I am talking about. We all have that moment where we look in the mirror and reevaluate our life because we ate that extra piece of pizza. Or screen shot that selfie of that girl who went to your high school and send it to your best friend to ask why she’s wearing this or doing that. So what it looks like she took the entire bottle of foundation and stuck it on her face. If it gives her confidence-SO BE IT.

I’m not acting like this isn’t me. Trust me…I used to be a full fledged, undying participant of these habits…but recently I have been a product of the attitude that it creates. It seems that any time I critique someone else, almost immediately I do it to myself. It’s funny how one negative comment can really affect you and those around you. Once you have adopted this sort of attitude…you kinda become it.

Most people want to say that the reason that they talk down about others is because it’s the truth. What we fail to realize is that we never know what a person might be going through or how they interpret the world around them. Things are different in ALL aspects of life. We can’t just be subject to to what the media portrays is “in” or “right”. We live in such a world that is so quick to find flaws and failure that I think a lot of us have temporarily forgotten what a place of positivity is. Think about it this way. What if everything was entirely different? What would it be like instead of people constantly trying to tear everyone down-everyone started to bring each other up. How many happy humans would walk the Earth. How many good deeds would be completed? How many great things would be accomplished if we just told one person HOW MUCH THEY MEAN.

I think the point I am trying to make is that being happy and optimistic can go a long way. Not just for you-but for everyone else. So next time you think that life is too hard, or that you’re not worth it..I suggest thinking positively.  Think about how much you impact those around you with your attitude. Think about how much you are worth and shake the world with your positivity. It’s powerful.

Kind and Humble

In the weeks being at school my life has been a complete roller coaster. I’m dealing with new things every corner I turn and my focus jumps from one stress to another. Honestly I told myself that I wouldn’t let this happen and that I would let go…but it’s been hard. On Sunday my mom had sent me a random text to watch a video on Facebook. That week had been so rough and I really didn’t even want to talk to anyone. After her text, I thought to myself that it was going to be another puppy playing with a toy or a cute kid being silly. I told her that I was in the midst of something else and that I would watch it later. Her next text amazed me. She went on to say that she dedicated a song to me and that it made her emotional…but in a good way; a reminiscing kind of way. She said that she was so proud of my achievements and that she had hope for my future. The song was all me. I got curious and listened to it. This hit hart.

“Hold the door, say please, say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind
When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind”

I told her that I cried in the middle of the dining hall because this is exactly what I needed to hear, especially from my mom. My mom has been this stubborn, guiding light in my life whether I like to admit it. She taught me to be fearless and to be the person that I want to portray to the entire world. This always confused me because I never knew who I wanted to be and if I could learn how to be the woman my mom is…my life would be a little more clear. I told her this and her response was, “but honey, you are”. I learned something from this that has kept me so happy even if it has only been a few days. She gave me the strength to confidently be who I am.

If there is something that I could express to every teen, every young adult it would be to create that unfailing bond with your mother. Yes she will drive you crazy. Yes she will make you wish you went to that beautiful school in Cali. Yes she will make you want to break rules and go against every piece of advice she gives. But she will also go to the end of the world for you. She will use her last $5 to buy you what you need. She will drive an hour to you right after work because you forgot your tennis shoes at home. She will be the non-judgmental ear you can spill your heart out to. Mom, thank you for being all that and more for such a messed up kid. I love you.

 

An Update

After my first week of school I think it’s safe to say that I’m back in to the groove of things. I mean there are some things that I’m still not use to, like the fact that I have to wear shoes in the shower and there’s no snacks readily available like at home. I’m glad to see everyone though. I figured that this semester I would start to do whatever strikes a passion string in me and that I wouldn’t hold back. As of right now there’s nothing new that deserves mention in that department but I am still on the search. The one thing that is new is my global issues class. We were talking about pandemic outbreaks in poverty stricken areas and how it effects people on a global scale. With that entire topic I started to do research on non-profits that aid in the department of help and further research development on how to help people effected, directly and non directly. I decided to be a helping member in Let’s End Poverty. Last year I found out about the organization but knew nothing on how to help. Since I am now in college I can do more and really start to be an active member in the community. I just want to help in any way I can even if it’s in my own area.

As for school..I’m continuously finding new things to do and meeting new people every day. My goal is to be there for those I’m close to here and at home. Friends keep me motivated to better myself and that is the whole goal this year. I hope to help guide and bring up others; there is a certain power in positivity. In the week I have been here I’ve just caught up with people and adjusted to college again. One more semester until the first year is over. I feel like there’s no reason to stress…unless it’s over one of these exams my geography professor harps about. But other than that just getting through it

Portion Sizes..and I Don’t Mean Food

7:50///East Coast
So I’m back home and I am still coping with the vacation blues. I thought that my first day back was going to be extremely proactive and that I was going to get a bunch done. I started repacking for school (even though I’m not moving to a different spot..I just don’t know the meaning of moderation) and researching my classes to see what I am expecting. With this rush of new feelings and stressing about keeping my head straight I got caught up. That angst feeling came back again and all I could do was forget it all and sleep. Which sounds like the worst thing to do considering I pushed all that I needed to do aside. I woke up feeling worse than I did when I went to sleep. I got up and really thought about why I was having these feelings and after thinking about it, I figured it out. There is this thing called portions and at the moment my plate is full. And with the full plate comes the full stress. I have always been the type of person that wants to just go and do everything. I have no understanding of what is too much. Recently I have learned that clearing my plate is probably the most beneficial thing I can do. By focusing my time on one specific thing I can enjoy other things without worrying what’s next or how to solve it. I have realized that continuous prayer goes a long way and that by letting go off all the anxiety and problems and letting God do His will is the best way to handle it. By saying that, that means that I am going to simplify life. Clear my plate and leave room for the dessert that is about to come because when you do that you automatically leave room for new things and don’t feel too drowned in everything else. I am starting to see the value of it all and since this simplified concept is new to me, I am eager to see what falls in my lap because of it.

New Horizons

8:00/// West Coast

If there is one thing that I wish that I did more of is traveling. This past year I have been blessed to set foot in different time zones and assimilate myself with new things. For a majority of the time my permanent standing is in Georgia. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and it’s home. There is just something about getting on a plane and just going. I feel like that going to new places helps me internally. It isn’t just the glorification of being able to go..it’s the things I get to see and experience. California, as most people that know me know, is my second home. From the times I have been the initial west coast vibe sinks in. There’s beaches, nice weather and lavish lifestyles and at first I was a major tourist. My time here now is a bit different and I have come to learn something. It came from a view that I saw. Several of them actually. It was a view that made me realize just how small we are in this big big world and that your venturing is endless. Being somewhere different than what you’re used to helps you expand. I feel like the opportunity to travel is the best gift. Especially if you get to see family and hidden treasures. I can’t wait to see where 2016 takes me

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